


our first but last

by daniwrites



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 23:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniwrites/pseuds/daniwrites
Summary: Jiwon is tired so he let Junhoe go on the younger's birthday but some things happened before he finally decided to move on.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Jiwon made me do it

"I'm tired, Junhoe. I really am. You never gave me any assurance." Jiwon tried to hold back his tears. He looked down, avoiding Junhoe's eyes. He needed to let it out, he hates this push and pull relationship. He wants to give up. He needs to, for his sanity.

"Do you really have to do this right now? It's my fucking birthday, hyung. This is your gift? Wow, thanks. I appreciate it." Junhoe responded, anger and hurt evident in his trembling voice.

Jiwon opened his mouth to say something but he can't think of anything to say. He felt Junhoe move and when he tried to look at him, he saw Junhoe walking away. And he did nothing.

 

 

• the morning after •

Jiwon woke up earlier than usual to go out of the dorm, he needed to avoid Junhoe and staying there with the other members won't be a big help so he thought of going to his studio and make some songs, if he can even manage to work.

Before going straight to YG Ent he dropped by at the convenience store to buy some snacks for him and Hanbin. He greeted the staffs and other people who were at the building as he walk towards his destination. He passed by Hanbin's studio and there he remembered that Hanbin is in Thailand to shoot Law of the Jungle.

Fuck, now I don't have my bestfriend with me. He thought to himself. Hanbin is his bestfriend, he knows and understands Jiwon best. But he's not here and he misses him, he always know how to handle Jiwon and his problems, by problems he meant Jiwon's "Junhoe problems".

He sighed then went straight to his studio.

It's already lunch time but Jiwon is still struggling to finish the track he's working on. He's just not in the mood and not in the proper state of mind to come up with lyrics and stuff. He decided to just take a nap but before he was able to do it, his phone rang...

_Dirty Kid is calling..._

"What do you want?"  
" _Hyung, where are you?_ "  
"In the studio. I'm busy."  
" _Can I come over?_ "  
"Not now, Dong. I'm really busy and I want to be alone."

 _"Who are you talking to?"_ Jiwon heard someone on the other line talking to Donghyuk. He knows that voice, it's Junhoe's.

" _It's Bobbㅡ_ " Donghyuk answered him back but Jiwon dropped the call, he doesn't want to involve himself with anything related to Junhoe as of the moment.

He knows he can't avoid the younger for long because they belong to the same group but he just wants to breathe for a while. Going through their push and pull relationship gave Jiwon a very hard time. He cried to sleep, got drunk and passed out whenever he's hurting. He barges in Hanbin's room or studio without notice just to bug Hanbin because he doesn't wanna go home just to see Junhoe with Jinhwan. He never let Junhoe see that he was hurting because Junhoe might feel guilty and Jiwon doesn't want that so he kept everything and ignored the pang in his chest whenever he would see Junhoe's glances and his silent cries for Jinhwan every night. But people get tried.

After all his sacrifices and patience, he's still in love with their oldest member. It's still Jinhwan. He was there when Jinhwan broke Junhoe's heart, he was his comfort and his shoulder to cry on. Junhoe told him to wait for him, that he was just taking his time before he finally allows his heart to love again. But that was pure bullshit, then Jiwon remembered what happened 3 days before Junhoe's birthday, if he could just erase the scene he witnessed he would erase everything from that night. 

He tried fixing Junhoe's heart but he ended up being the broken one.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might hurt a little.

Jiwon woke up when he heard a loud bang outside his studio. He quickly got up feeling a little dizzy with the sudden move but he made his way to his door where the loud thud was coming from.

"Junhoe? What are you doing here?" Jiwon was not really surprised to see Junhoe but what surprised him is that the young boy is drunk and wasted. He looked like he was crying and well, wasted.

" _Shut up, Jiwon! You hurt me._ " Junhoe said then pushed Jiwon inside and he followed.

"What the fuck? Junhoe, you know what? You're just drunk. Let me take you home." Jiwon tried to get a grip of Junhoe's hand but the younger was quick to avoid it.

" _NO! I went here to say how much of a jerk you are for just leaving me behind. I trusted you, hyung. I told you to wait for me. You said you would. But you showed up in my face on my birthday to tell me you're tired? Bullshit, hyung._ " Junhoe started to spit fire and Jiwon's not liking it. He was trying to be really patient with him. He kept on thinking that he's just drunk and he doesn't know what he's saying. So he decided to be the bigger man for the both of them since he's the hyung after all.

He carried Junhoe, his head facing Jiwon's back. He caught Junhoe in a surprise and it made him feel dizzy. Jiwon tried to walk fast since someone might see them and he can't carry him when he's this heavy and big. Junhoe tried to escape, uttering complains like how he hates Jiwon and everything. The typical childish Junhoe when drunk...and sober.

When they reached their dorm, Junhoe made his way to Jiwon's room but to his surprise Donghyuk was there.

" _Junhoe, why are you here? Where's Bobby hyung?_ " Donghyuk asked him.

" _I think I should be the one asking you that, Dong. Why are you here in Jiwon's room?_ " Junhoe snapped back at Donghyuk which made the other feel a little tensed.

Jiwon entered the room and was surprised to see two of their members inside. He could also feel the rising tension as Junhoe was glaring at Donghyuk like he would attack him any minute now. Donghyuk was the first one to acknowledge Jiwon's presence.

" _Bobby hyung! You're here. Are you okay?_ " Donghyuk went straight to Jiwon, he smiled at him and nodded. Donghyuk's sweetness always make Jiwon's heart soft. He's like a little brother to him.

Junhoe faked a cough so Jiwon had to tell Donghyuk to leave the two of them for a while. Donghyuk said his good night but Junhoe didn't care. Yup, he's more sassy and rude when he's drunk.

"What do you want, Junhoe?" Jiwon asked, he's tired of this. He just wants to sleep and he wants Junhoe to know he needs to rest.

" _I want you, hyung._ " Junhoe quickly responded which made Jiwon look at him.

"What?"

" _You heard me. I want you._ "

"No, you don't. You're just drunk. Please leave."

Jiwon had enough. Junhoe's back at it again playing with his feelings like it was some toy he'll remember when he's not in his right mind and Jiwon is tired. Really tired.

" _Did you just said 'no' to me? Why? Because you have Donghyuk now? Oh, now the puzzle fits. You came up to me on my birthday saying you're tired but the truth is; you don't like me anymore. And you really have to do it on my birthday? How can you be so inconsiderate of other's feelings? That's so selfish, Jiwon._ " Junhoe once again uttered hurtful words. And Jiwon's patience is nowhere to be found. He needs to end this because the pain is too much.

"I don't like you? LIKE? All this time you thought that i just LIKE you? I fucking love you, Koo Junhoe. I really do. I love you to the point that I forgot to love myself. I love you so I did my best to fix you while I slowly break myself. I love you so much that while you were slowly getting back to your usual self, I was slowly fading away. Now, you're accusing me of liking someone else when the whole goddamn universe knows how much I LOVE YOU. And don't you dare call me selfish, you out of all the people here have no right to say that to my face."

Junhoe's words may be bullets but Jiwon's words were poison. It got Junhoe big time, it was the first time that Jiwon talked back to him. He was the quiet one whenever they fight but this....this is a different Jiwon and Junhoe realize right there that he lost him. He lost his Jiwon.

 


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, hehe.

Jiwon didn't know what happened, they were just throwing hurtful words toward each other as he remembered but right now he's in Junhoe's room kissing Junhoe who's above him. They're making out. Jiwon can still taste the whiskey in Junhoe's mouth, he can also probably tell that the other is still drunk because he's too touchy and that's not a typical Junhoe.

Their lips parted and their eyes found each other, they were studying each other's faces like it's the last time they're gonna be this close to one another. Jiwon had always admired Junhoe's beautiful face, his dark but alluring eyes, his pointed nose, his squishy cheeks, his soft and plump lips. Jiwon always thought that God took his time making Junhoe because he was the epitome of perfection. He wouldn't mind staring at him all day, he loves seeing that beautiful face it's what makes him happy...before.

Junhoe noticed the sudden change in Jiwon's face and it hurts him knowing that Jiwon is hurting. He was about to ask what's wrong because Jiwon's eyes were starting to tear up but Jiwon suddenly kissed him. Slow. Passionate. Full of love. The kind of kiss that would make you feel things in your stomach, your veins, your mind and your heart. Junhoe closed his eyes, savouring their moment. He was loving it but little did he know that Jiwon was thankful he closed his eyes, so he won't see Jiwon's tears. He was crying because this was their first but he also knows that this would be their last.

Jiwon switched their position, he's now on top of Junhoe and they never broke the kiss. Their tongues trying to fight for dominance but it's soft as ever. Jiwon's kisses went down to Junhoe's neck, the other gasped and moan at the affection but he tilted his head to give Jiwon more access. Junhoe loves neck kisses and Jiwon knows that because he told him. While Jiwon was busy kissing his neck, Junhoe's hands slowly removed the other's top and he tried to unbuckle Jiwon's belt but he was stopped.

"Not yet, baby." Jiwon whispered in his ear and it sent shivers to Junhoe's being. He placed his hands on Jiwon's abs, tracing it like it was some masterpiece that he admires. Jiwon removed Junhoe's top and began kissing his body. His nipples, down to his abs and stomach. Jiwon stopped.

" _Hyungggg, why did you stop?_ " Junhoe protested but Jiwon leveled his face to him and he whispered something that caught Junhoe breathless.

"I love you."

Jiwon left him speechless and proceeded with what he wants to do. He removed Junhoe's pants revealing his hard dick with pre cum. Junhoe moaned when he felt Jiwon blew some hot air against his manhood. He felt it twitch, too. He really wants Jiwon tonight and it shows.

Jiwon parted Junhoe's legs and positioned himself between them, he started to lick Junhoe's shaft while playing with his balls. Junhoe moaned and it was music to Jiwon's ears. He continued what he was doing and in no time he took Junhoe's dick in his mouth. He did it fast and deep, letting Junhoe's dick reach the back of his throat. Junhoe did nothing but moan and curse, when Jiwon felt that he was close, he released his dick.

Junhoe whines at the loss of contact but was replaced by a loud groan when Jiwon pushed his finger into his hole. Jiwon was careful and his finger moved slowly until it was Junhoe who moved faster, then he felt two finger inside him, then three. He can't stop moaning, Jiwon's fingers felt so good inside him like he can cum any minute now. He was moaning and calling Jiwon over and over again. He can feel something building up in his lower stomach but Jiwon pulled out his fingers.

" _Fuck. Do you really have to do that all the time?_ " Annoyed Junhoe is cute. Jiwon always find him cute whenever he's annoyed or sulking because he looks like a baby. A big giant baby. Jiwon's big baby.

Jiwon smiled lovingly at Junhoe, he would miss him. So much. He was the nosiest member but Jiwon loves his noise, it was something that he looks forward to everyday, one of the reasons why he wants to wake up. He will miss it.

Jiwon unbuckled his belt and undo his pants, he stroked his manhood to spread some precum then he positioned himself between Junhoe's legs. He saw that Junhoe was tensed and nervous so he went on top of him. Jiwon started to plant soft kisses on Junhoe's face making him giggle, his hand caressing Junhoe's cheeks.

Then Junhoe felt pain. Jiwon finally entered him, it was painful, he feels like something inside him tore apart. Jiwon wasn't moving yet letting Junhoe adjust to the new feeling, then Junhoe nodded his head and Jiwon got the message. He started to thrush slowly, picking up his pace. He buried his face at Junhoe's neck then he started to move fasted and deeper which gained a reaction from Junhoe. While he was moaning, Jiwon kept on saying "I love you" in his ear and it made Junhoe feel more than he should.

Deep thrust. Soft groans. Loud moans. Skin slapping. Eyes crying. Hearts breaking.

Jiwon was staring at Junhoe who have fallen asleep after they had their moment. He cleaned him and tucked him to bed. Oh, how he wish he could do this every night to him but he nows this would be the first and last. Junhoe moved a little and started to sleep talk.

" _Jinhwan hyung._ "

Times up. Jiwon knows it's over now. It's time to say goodbye. So he left Junhoe's room.

 

 

 

" _Jinhwan hyung... I love Jiwon now_." 

 


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's what happened 3 days before Junhoe's birthday

_You never know how I feel baby_   
_When you kiss me you're driving me crazy_   
_Oh, you make my life complete_   
_Oh yes, you do._

Junhoe was playing Jiwon's song while he was writing one of the most important poems he'll write his whole life; it was his confession of love for Jiwon.

Yes, finally, he can say that he loves Jiwon just like how Jiwon loves him. He didn't know how it really happened, the feeling was suddenly there and he can't wait to tell Jiwon that he's ready to open his heart for him, that he don't have to wait any longer because Junhoe loves him too. He was feeling lighthearted and giddy will writing his possible poems for Jiwon, he wants it to be the best poem. He wants to write how Jiwon was the perfect one for him.

He was still trying to finish one poem when he heard a knock on his door. He stopped the music and told that person to just come in. He heard the door open and he thought it was Jiwon, since he likes to go to Junhoe's room to fix his mess and mess with him afterwards by annoying Junhoe.

"Hey, Junhoe." It wasn't Jiwon's voice, it belongs to someone Junhoe knew very well. "Can we talk?" The owner of the voice asked.

"Nani hyung, what brought you here?" Junhoe asked, facing Jinhwan who was now sitting on his bed. It has been awhile since Junhoe and Jinhwan were alone in a room, Junhoe would usually avoid it and would always try to think of an escape. Also, Jiwon was always by his side so he was never alone because he had company.

"How are you, Junhoe?" Jinhwan started the conversation, he wasn't looking at Junhoe. The younger can also tell that he's nervous because he was playing with his fingers.

"I'm okay, hyung. I'm better now." Junhoe answered with confidence and a smile. He wanted to brag about how he's over him now, but he's still his hyung and his bestfriend after all. "You? Are you okay?" Junhoe asked.

"Yes, I'm doing good." Jinhwan answered.

Then, silence again.

"I think you're busy? I'm sorry for disturbing you." Jinhwan tried to make another conversation. Junhoe knows him so well that he knows Jinhwan will say something important but he just don't know how to start.

"Ahh, yes. I'm making a poem for someone I really like. No, someone I really love." Junhoe showed him the pile of papers on top of his desk. Jinhwan didn't need to ask who, he heard the song Junhoe was playing earlier and it makes him happy that Junhoe will be happy soon. He knows how much Jiwon adores the younger boy.

"I need help tho, can you help me?" Junhoe asked and Jinhwan nodded. Junhe grabbed two papers and read the first poem. "The title of this poem is YinYang"

_we're like yin and yang_   
_the total opposites of each other_   
_yet we complement one another_   
_i never thought that we would be closer_   
_i was only looking at you from afar before as i remember_   
_but i'm not complaining_   
_being close to you makes me happy like how i feel whenever it's raining_   
_would it be bad if i'll be selfish?_   
_i want to make more good memories for me to cherish_   
_you're the yang to my yin_   
_although sometimes you're really annoying_   
_you're also the reason why i found myself smiling._

"Wow, it's really good! I like it." Jinhwan complimented him.

"Here's the next one, I call it Starry Starry Night." Then Junhoe started to read the second poem.

_and again, the night has come_   
_it's the perfect time to get lost in the stars_   
_it's time to see how pretty they are up above_   
_isn't it breathtaking to witness_   
_how the stars light up the dark?_   
_sometimes i can't help myself to compare_   
_i can't avoid something i know is too evident_   
_you and the stars_   
_you both have similarities that i can't unsee_   
_this i will say for the first and last time;_   
_you are the star that shines on the darkest part of my pathetic life._

"Woah, both of it are beautiful poems, Junhoe. I could feel the love. You're really great at writing. I'm so proud of you." Jinhwan was all smiles while praising Junhoe's poems. It was really beautiful and well-written. Jinhwan bets that if Jiwon heards these his heart would explode.

"Thank you, hyung. So which one is better?"

"Both. I like both of it."

Junhoe nodded then he was about to write again but Jinhwan faked a cough and it made Junhoe look at him with a brow raised. He knows Jinhwan will say something.

"I came here to say that I'm really sorry for hurting you. I really am. I miss you, Juneya. I miss my bestfriend and I want you back. If I have to wait for you to forgive me, I will. I just want the old us back?" Jinhwan almost whispered those words to Junhoe but he was able to hear everything. He stood up and went beside Jinhwan.

"I missed you, hyung. And, you don't have to wait because I already forgave you. I'm okay and happy now." Junhoe said and he suddenly hugged Jinhwan.

Then, Junhoe heard his door closed. He looked back but no one was there so he ignored it. He was in cloud 9, he's okay with Jinhwan and he's gonna confess to Jiwon on his own birthday.

 


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi before you read the update i just want to ask who sent a message in my cc account? i was surprised that someone knew what my stan twt acc is since i never mentioned it here. thank you for the message and kind words. Since someone already knows, I'll expose myself now.
> 
> twitter: @pokpok4hanbin

Hanbin just arrived back here in Korea, he went straight in their dorm and found Chanwoo cooking in the kitchen.

"Oh, hyung. You're back, have you eaten already?" Chanwoo asked and gave his hyung a bro hug. Hanbin smiled at the gesture, Chanwoo was always the "trying hard not to look like a baby but ends up looking more like a baby" and he finds it cute.

"I'm good, not yet hungry. Where's Yunhyeong hyung?" Hanbin asked, he sat with Chanwoo in their dining table.

"A lot has happened in a short while that you were gone, hyung." Chanwoo started while he was eating.

"What do you mean? Are we in trouble?" Hanbin asked.

"Not technically the whole group, but Junhoe and Bobby hyung has this thing going on. That's why Yunhyeong hyung is always downstairs because he's helping Jinani hyung fix their mess. From what I heard, Bobby hyung is not staying in the dorm. He would just go home to sleep then would disappear early in the morning." Chanwoo explained the situation to Hanbin but it's not new to him anymore since he knows the thing. The members knew it recently.

"Oh, I think I know where Bobby hyung is staying but how's Junhoe? How is he handling the situation?" Hanbin asked, he really wants to know if this issue is really affecting Junhoe. He doesn't know the kid's feelings and he's somehow curious.

"I'm not sure. He seems fine to me, he's still staying in the dorm, he's still loud sometimes. But what really changed is he kept on going here asking if Bobby hyung visited us. I think he's deeply affected but he's trying to look like he's not. Typical Junhoe." Chanwoo added. Hanbin just nodded at him. So Junhoe is really affected huh? He needs to talk to Jiwon. He's probably in his studio trying to write songs or just sleeping.

Hanbin stood up and told Chanwoo he'll go to his studio once he's done unpacking his things. Chanwoo went downstairs after eating to offer any help if ever needed.

 

  
Hanbin greeted the staffs before making his way to Jiwon's studio, he opened the door and there he found Junhoe who was sitting beside a sleeping Jiwon on the sofa. Junhoe wasn't aware of Hanbin's presence so Hanbin just stood there looking at them. Junhoe's face looks like he's been restless and he's brushing his fingers lightly against Jiwon's face, trying his best not to wake him up.

There Hanbin realized something, this is not a one-sided love story. Junhoe has feelings for Jiwon. But, what happened?

"Hanbin hyung?" Junhoe whispered but loud enough for Hanbin to hear. Hanbin waved and smiled at Junhoe. He gestured for Junhoe to come to him. The younger was hesitant at first but he followed.

Hanbin engulfed Junhoe in his embrace which shocked the younger based on how his body froze at the skinship.

"I missed you, maknae." Hanbin said

"Me too, hyung." Junhoe responded.

"What are you doing here in your Kimbap hyung's studio?" Hanbin asked, acting like he doesn't know anything.

"Uhm. I was just uhhh, checking on Bobby hyung." Junhoe answered.

Hanbin let go of Junhoe and he saw the younger's puffy eyes. Junhoe avoided the eye contact and despite of being the tallest member he looks so small right now. Hanbin's heart softens at the sight of their maknae looking like a whole baby infront of him.

"Do you want to talk about it with me?" Hanbin asked but he did not wait for Junhoe's answer. He held the younger's wrist.

"I'll buy you hotbars. Let's bond."


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for not updating right away. We're almost at the end. By the way, if you have time I have another JunBob AU (title: STIAGUOY) it' fluff, light angst and ofcourse, smut. Hehehe.
> 
> Also, I wrote this on the spot so I apologize for any misspelled words or grammatical errors. I did not proofread this chapter anymore. Still, feel free to correct me if you really want to :)

Jiwon woke up in his studio, he picked up his phone to look at the time (it's already 7pm) he saw multiple messages and missed calls from Hanbin, then he remembered that Hanbin will be back today from Thailand. He replied to him saying he just woke up and he would just go to him in his studio since he's in the same building. Jiwon stood up ready to leave but he noticed a piece of paper on his desk, he doesn't remember working when he got there because he came to sleep and just rest. He took the paper, unfolded it and he found a poem

_even if i hurt you, don't ever let go of my hand_

_i know that i have treated you bad_

_but now i'm here to make up for my mistake_

_i'm sorry for taking too long and for being fake_

_you showed me the real meaning of love_

_and here i am, realizing who's in love_

_it's me, i'm in love._

_yes, i'm in love with you._

He knows this handwriting, it was Junhoe's. But why is his poem here? He went here while I was sleeping? No, that can't be. Jiwon brushed the thought off of his mind, he doesn't wanna get his hopes high again, he's had enough about expecting but getting disappointed in the end. There's no way Junhoe would go to his studio at this moment, he's probably busy flirting and making memories with Jinhwan hyung. Jiwon folded the paper and placed it inside his pocket, he'll just ask Donghyuk to return it to Junhoe when he gets home. He went out of his studio to go to Hanbin.

While on his way to the leader's studio, he heard footsteps and laughters of two people obviously enjoying each other's company. When he made the turn few steps from Hanbin's studio, he saw Hanbin and Junhoe walking at the opposite side. Hanbin was the first one to see him.

"KIM JIWON!" Hanbin almost shouted with how loud his voice was. He ran towards Jiwon and hugged him tight.

"I missed you! I was long gone and I think you have a lot to tell me." Jiwon hugged back but he doesn't respond to any of Hanbin's sentiments. He was just looking straight at the boy standing in front of Hanbin's studio. What is he doing here? And, why is he with Hanbin? The leader must have realized what was going on so he slowly detached himself from Jiwon and stood in front of him.

"I texted you that I'll be going to your studio earlier. I did but I saw Junhoe-" Hanbin was cut off by Junhoe.

"Hyung!" Junhoe managed to call him, both of them looked at Junhoe and he was looking at Hanbin. Like he was trying to warn the leader in saying something. "I'll go ahead now, hyung. Thank you for the hotbars. I really appreciate it." Junhoe said then walked away from the both of them.

Jiwon has been silent since he heard Junhoe's voice. It's been awhile since he saw him, they were living in the same roof but they never crossed paths again since the incident happen. He made sure that he leaves the dorm before someone wakes up. This is also the first time he heard his voice again. He missed Junhoe, so much. But, it was over now. 

"Jiwon hyung?" Hanbin snapped his fingers infront of Jiwon's face to get his attention. He looked at Hanbin who only raised his brow at him then pulled him inside of his studio.

 

"Spill." Hanbin said as soon as they sat down on the sofa. 

"What?" Jiwon asked, trying to act innocent and all.

"Don't what me, Kim Jiwon. Why are you not talking to Junhoe?" Hanbin asked, looking at Jiwon.

He avoided the other's stare. 

"We're always like this, Hanbin. We don't talk to each other and we're always awkward. This is not new and you know it." He answered him, trying to sound convincing but he knows he failed. Hanbin definitely knows something, he just wants Jiwon to open up. 

"I'm not gonna have this pretend conversation with you, hyung. I've heard alot from the members and from Junhoe too." Jiwon looked at Hanbin when he mentioned Junhoe's name and saw the grin on Hanbin's face. Once again, his bestfriend caught him using his only weakness; Koo Junhoe.

"What did he told you?" Jiwon asked. 

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Hanbin smirked at him. Jiwon was confused. "Now, spill."

"Okay, fine. It was Junhoe's birthday and you're not here. I talked to him, it was supposed to be something special. I had a surprise ready for him, but 3 days before his birthday I heard and saw something that made me think I was just gonna waste my time and he will never love me back." Hanbin became serious when he heard what Jiwon said.

"Wait, what happened 3 days before Junhoe's birthday?" Hanbin asked.

"I was going to Junhoe's room but I heard voices inside so I assumed he was talking to someone. I slowly opened the door to check if he's on the phone or if it was one of our members. Well, it was. Jinhwan hyung and Junhoe were talking about something serious. I did not heard everything but the way I looked at it, Junhoe was reading his poems for Jinhwan hyung and he praised Junhoe. He also told him that he likes both of his poems then..... Hey, are you even listening?" Jiwon looked at Hanbin who was typing something in his phone. The disrespect, he's here telling the story of how his heart got broken but his bestfriend is talking to someone. Annoying.

"I'm sorry, go on. I'm listening. So what happened next?" 

"This one is the heartbreaking part, Junhoe sat beside Jinhwan hyung and he told Junhoe that he wants him back, that he misses Junhoe and he's sorry for hurting him." Jiwon continued with his story.

"Okay, then?" Hanbin needed to know more details, of course he knows this already because Junhoe told everything that happened while he was gone including the shenanigans of the other members but he never realized that Jiwon witnessed what happened between Junhoe and Jinhwan hyung.

"Then, Junhoe hugged him tight and he looks happy that they're finally back. Right there and then, I realized that it will never be me. Junhoe will never love someone like me, Hanbin-ah. Junhoe will never write poems about me, he will never hug me that tight, he will never smile and laugh like how he does whenever he's with Jinhwan hyung. I lost the battle. I'm tired. So, at his birthday I told him that I've had enough, that I'm tired and I can't do this anymore." Jiwon remembered that day, he never imagined that he will give up on Junhoe but again, he was tired and hurt.

"This dumb fuck. Why are you even my bestfriend?" Hanbin uttered and it made Jiwon punch Hanbin on the shoulder.

"Yah! You heard my story and you know what happened. If you were in my shoes you'd do the same thing." 

"Nope, I won't do that. Just because you saw Junhoe and Jinhwan hyung hugging and reconciled doesn't mean they're together. Did you even asked Junhoe about what you saw?" Hanbin waited for Jiwon to answer but the older just shook his head.

"See? You just assumed what you saw but you never did anything to confirmed it. And by the way, look at your phone. Chanwoo said something in the group chat." Hanbin told him so Jiwon opened his phone and he was surprised.

 

**iKON FAM**

**Chanwoo:** Okay hyungs, I have no plan of telling you this but Jinani hyung forced me.

 **Chanwoo:** We're dating now so keep your hands off my baby hyung. Got it?

 **Junhoe:** OMG, FINALLY. CONGRATS!

 **Yunhyeong:** Yay! KONgrats!

 **Donghyuk:** Hyung, stop it with the KON pun.

 **Donghyuk:** Anw, congrats lovers!!

 **Hanbin:** THAT'S MY MAKNAE. CONGRATS!!!

 **Jinhwan:** MY maknae. Back off, Kim Hanbin.

 

"I don't get it? Jinhwan hyung and Chanwoo?" Jiwon asked

"Yup, they've been seeing each other for awhile now. Everyone knows it, hyung. Where were you all this time?"

"B-but... Junhoe and Jinhwan hyung..."

"This is why you're dumber and I'm dumb." Hanbin chuckled. "Where's Junhoe's poem?" Hanbin asked and Jiwon looked at him confused. Oh! He remembered, the poem Junhoe left inside his studio. He pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to Hanbin.

"I saw this in my studio when I woke up and I found out that it was Junhoe's because of the handwriting. How did you know that I have this?" Jiwon asked, still confused. 

Hanbin smiled at him.

"I saw him inside the studio while you were sleeping, hyung."

"W-what? He....he's in my studio?"

"Yes, he was sitting beside a sleeping Jiwon and he was slowly caressing your face in a very careful way like you're fragile or something." Hanbin continued.

"But, why was he there? Did he told you?"

"Did you read the poem?"

"Yes, I did but I figured this was just one of his poems for Jinani hyung that got misplaced in my studio."

"You still don't get it hyung? Read the poem, again."

Jiwon unfolded the paper and once again he carefully read the poem. It was slowly starting to make sense when he realized the words used in Junhoe's poem. He looked at Hanbin who was still smiling at him like he knows that finally, Jiwon understood everything.

"Is...Is this...the words used..."

"Hyung, it's from your song In Love. How could you not remember the lyrics?" Hanbin laughed at Jiwon's surprised face.

Jiwon finally understood everything. It wasn't one-sided. Hanbin was right, he is dumber. Jiwon stood up and quickly made his was out of Hanbin's studio. He needs to go to Junhoe as soon as possible, he won't waste another chance because he was being dramatic.

When he finally reached their dorm, the went to Junhoe's room but the younger wasn't there so he went to their living room, no one's there too. He heard a few movements in the kitchen so he walked there hoping that he would find Junhoe. And, he did. Junhoe was busy cooking something probably ramyeon.

"Junhoe." Jiwon called him, it was soft and was almost like a whisper. He saw how Junhoe stopped what he was doing, the boy froze in his position but quickly recovered and faced Jiwon.

"J..Jiwon hyung." Junhoe said.

 

Jiwon did not waste any time as he moved quickly to where Junhoe was standing and crashed his lips on the younger's.


	7. seven

Jinhwan woke up from his nap, and it was already time for dinner so he went out of his room to grab some food in their kitchen if there are any left-overs from their lunch that was cooked by Yunhyeong. While he was walking towards the kitchen he heard two voices having a casual conversation in their living room. It's Jiwon and Junhoe.

"I really can't believe this. So, you're saying that I misinterpreted everything that happened three days before your birthday?" Jiwon asked Junhoe, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Yeah, hyung. The poems I was reading were actually my confession of love for you. I wanted someone's opinions about it and Jinhwan hyung went to my room to reconcile with me. He even knew that I was... uhm, in love with you." Junhoe answered, Jinhwan can imagine the younger placing his hand at the back of his neck while avoiding eye contact. He finds him cute whenever he'll be like that and would blush. Junhoe is a shy kid and he has troubles expressing his feelings.

"Oh god, what have I done? I ruined your birthday, my Junhoe-ya. I'm so sorry. Mianhe." Jinhwan heard movements and he thinks that maybe Jiwon went to Junhoe to hug him. He took this as his cue to enter the scene as he was eavesdropping too much, he wants to say something to the both of them.

He was right. When he walked fully to their living room, he saw Jiwon hugging Junhoe so tight and whispering things to him which made Junhoe smile. The younger saw him and immediately called him making Jiwon let go of Junhoe to look at him.

"Jinhwan hyung, did you just woke up?" Junhoe asked.

"Yeah, and I'm hungry. Do we have left-overs?" Jinhwan asked, walking towards the two members.

"I think we still have some, I can cook ramyeon for you if you want, hyung." Junhoe said. Jinhwan just hummed as he made his way beside Jiwon to sit and patted the other's lap.

"Long time no see, JIwonnie~" Jinhwan tried to act cute but Jiwon face palmed him and chuckled.

"Seriously, where have you been? We barely saw you these past few days and we don't even know where you stayed." Although Jinhwan knows what happened, he wants to confirm it.

"He stayed at his studio, hyung. I always visit him but just when he's sleeping." Junhoe was the one who answered the question.

"You went to him everyday?" Jinhwan asked. He looked at Jiwon who's also surprised at the sudden confession like him. When did Junhoe become this brave?

"Yeah, I just wanna check up on him. I was worried because he leaves early in the morning then go home very late. So there was one time that I followed him to know where he goes, I was relieved when I found out that he's just staying inside his studio." Junhoe shyly admitted but the proud grin on his lips didn't vanished. Jiwon looked so softly at Junhoe and intertwined their hands.

This made Jinhwan smile, he's happy that his best friend found the one for him.

"I guess I'll leave the both of you, you have way too many things to talk about." Jinhwan made his way out of the dorm.

(Where's he going? I don't know, ask him. Lol.)

When the door finally closed, Jiwon turned to face Junhoe who's smiling at him lovingly and Jiwon liked, no, he loved the view. 

"You're a stalker. You like me that much, you stalk me." Jiwon teased him and he saw how Junhoe turned red.

"Hyuuung! I'm not a stalker, I just wanna know." Junhoe responded.

"Still sounds like a stalker to me." Jiwon was having the time of his life, he never expected that this will happen.

"Aigoo~ this hyung teases me a lot. You still have to make it up to me for ruining my birthday." Junhoe said as he moved closer to Jiwon.

They're like in a cuddling position but both are seated. Junhoe placed his head above Jiwon's chest and he could hear Jiwon's fast heartbeat, a sign that he's nervous. Junhoe was nervous, too. This is the first time that he felt so nervous just by half-cuddling a person. Jiwon was the first one to break the silence.

"So you told Hanbin everything that happened while he was gone?" Jiwon placed his hand at Junhoe's waist, drawing little circles that made Junhoe feel fireworks.

Junhoe just nodded as his response. Jiwon moved closer to Junhoe and whispered something close to his ear.

"By everything does that mean you told him about what we did when you were drunk?" 

Junhoe sat straight looking at Jiwon with wide eyes and his cheeks red.

"Hyung! No, why would I even include that? I-I, you're so naughty." Junhoe said, he's caught off guard by the question and he panicked when he realized that they really did THAT when he was drunk. He saw Jiwon smirked and move closer to him.

"Yeah, I know I'm naughty." And before Junhoe can respond to Jiwon, the older kissed him and he kissed back.

 

This time, it was Junhoe who found himself inside Jiwon's room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for updating very late, uni has been stressing me and final exams are approaching  
> i hope someone's still reading this, we're close to the end.
> 
> leave comments if you have any violent reaction or you can drop it here:  
> curious cat: @pokpok4hanbin


	8. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is the last chapter for Our First, But Last. Thank you so much for reading my story although I update very late. Bonus chapters will be published next week. 
> 
> I have another JunBob AU idea in mind, here are the plots you guys choose what story do you want me to write 
> 
> A JUNBOB AU where:
> 
> a.) Junhoe is a soloist in YG and Jiwon is part of the duo, Double B under YG Ent too. They're mortal enemies since Jiwon dissed Junhoe in one of his tracks but little did Junhoe know that Jiwon has a secret crush on him.
> 
> b.) Junhoe decided to live again after experiencing a painful break up. He found a suicide letter in one of the museums he went to, it was his goal to visit every museum in Seoul. Too much curiosity led him in finding the person who leaves a letter in every museum that he went to. Is he ready to find that person? What if that person is someone he knew?
> 
> COMMENT THE PLOT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO WRITE.

"Hyung, wake up." Jiwon's sleep was disturbed when he heard a familiar voice. He instantly smiled in his mind because he knows that voice too well. He felt an arm around his waist and he could feel the other person's breath close to his ear.

"Hyung, you need to wake up. We have a schedule today. Hanbin hyung might scold you." Jiwon ignored the younger's sentiments and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I love waking up knowing your voice is the first sound I'll hear in the morning." Jiwon buried his head in Junhoe's neck and pulled him closer.

He heard Junhoe chuckled and he kissed Jiwon's head while playing with his hair.

"Okay let's cuddle for 5 minutes then you have to get up and prepare." Jiwon only hummed and moved closer to Junhoe as if there's still a space between them.

"YAA! KOO JUNHOE, KIM JIWON. GET UP OR I'LL TELL HANBIN YOUR FUCKING ASSES ARE BEING LAZY AGAIN." They heard Jinhwan shout infront of Jiwon's room.

"Pfft, he didn't know that your ass was the only ass that got fucked last night." Jiwon whispered still in Junhoe's neck and he felt his hot breath against his skin which made Junhoe shiver. 

"H-hyung. We should move now." Junhoe tried to speak normally as he felt Jiwon kissing, nibbling and light biting his neck. Junhoe tried to suppress his moans but obviously he failed.

"Uhhh, Bobby h-hyung." Junhoe tilted his head to give Jiwon a better access on his neck. He felt Jiwon moved above him and now he's looking up to Jiwon who's staring at him lovingly.

"I love you, Koo Junhoe." Jiwon suddenly said which caught Junhoe off-guard. He tried to say something but Jiwon placed his index finger above his lips, like telling him to just listen to what Jiwon is about to say.

"I love you. So much. Everything feels surreal right now, I still can't believe the fact that you love me too that after all this pull and push relationship I would end up here beside you. I love you and I don't know when I will stop, I don't even want to stop. I'll be yours and yours only even if you won't be mine in the future. You are the most wonderful blessing that I have received in my whole life, Koo Junhoe. I don't know if I really deserve you but I hope that I do because now that you're mine I don't have any plans of letting you go, I will stay with you even if one day you don't want me to stay anymore. You deserve all the happiness in the world and as long as you're happy, I'm happy. I love you always in all ways, Junhoe. You're my first love and I know you'll be the last." Jiwon didn't know why he suddenly said a long cheesy monologue but it's what he really wants to do and say. He felt so happy he can't contain all these feelings rushing in his system. He looked at Junhoe and he saw him tearing up. He was about to say something but Junhoe was quick enough to pull him down for a kiss.

It was slow, passionate, gentle, soft and full of love. Their lips were moving in sync like it was made for them to kiss, he cupped Junhoe's cheeks and wiped off the tears flowing down from his eyes. He didn't mean to make Junhoe cry, but he felt good because he knows those were tears of joy. He wants to make Junhoe happy and starting this day he vowed to himself that he'll make him happy every single day.

Their lips parted but their foreheads didn't. They were looking at each other's eyes, no one was saying anything they were having their moment. It was always like these with Junhoe and Jiwon, their eyes always speak for their feelings but this time both of them are aware of it now. They finally understood, and they're happy about it.

"Bobby hyung, Junhoe. They told me to wake you- WOAH, HYUNGS THEY'RE UP. THEY'RE OKAY LET'S JUST WAIT FOR THEM. OKAY OKAY I'M OUT." Donghyuk freaked out when he saw Jiwon on top of Junhoe when he entered the room, the two were not quick enough to realize that someone went in, they were so lost in their moment.

Junhoe made an awkward laugh and scratched the back of his head while Jiwon got off the bed and started to look for clothes to wear for their schedule. He felt Junhoe leave the bed and is now walking towards the door to go back to his room but before he full leave the room he stopped and turned to Jiwon.

"Hyung, I love you too always in all ways. You may not be the first, but I want you to be my last." 

They smiled at each other knowing that they will be okay, they're gonna be okay as long as

Junhoe is his  **first**

Jiwon is his  **last**


End file.
